"Better to Light a Candle Than Complain about the Darkness"
- Ajahn Brahm
First of all he tells how he was very experienced in dealing with Difficult people, how he taught in the prisons and how he faced the people who need help to deal with Difficult people around them. The principle is the look he held the big picture, look Them in person. They are not thief, They are not Murderer, They are not rapist. They are only people who do a bad thing! Always see the big picture, because if you only see the bad side of a person, they will show it even more. And if you see the good side of a person, they will show it even more aswell.
He tells of a woman who was doing research for a doctoral degree. Research on how to teach the dolphins to want to jump high and go through trials of a circle that hung above the pool. In her research she concluded that the technique adopted is an incremental positive reinforcement. Each time a dolphin jumping 1 inch, They get a fish. But if They do not jump, do not punish Them. If They jump 2 inches, They get another fish. Eventually the woman got an idea. Then he went to her professor and proposed replacement of objects. Her petition be accepted and eventually
The title of her thesis is: how to train your husband. Using the same principle in teaching dolphins earlier. Funny, entertaining, but works.
He also tell a story about how to deal with your difficult bosses.
He told his own experience when he first arrived at the monastery where Ajahn Brahm now lives in Perth, Australia. At that time, Ajahn Brahm is the second monk, there's still a monk on it, so Ajahn Brahm had a 'boss' and he is very Stubborn.
Ajahn Bram said: "He is very Stubborn, but I'am very smart": D
On one day they plan to build a hut that will be used by monks for meditation. Ajahn Brahm had the idea to build a shack on the hill a hill near their monastery. Then Ajahn Brahm told the chief: "I think we sholud build the hut over there" and the Head Monk said: "No! it's a terrible idea, no way." Then Ajahn Brahm say: "Ok boss." and that's it. He never argue about it. But he knows That the idea has planted in his boss subconcious.
A couple of weeks later, when Ajahn Brahm sure That the head monk forget about that idea before. Ajahn Brahm again tell his boss about his idea, and his boss respond: "No, that's a bad place to build a hut." And again Ajahn Brahm said: "Ok boss" and didn't argue about it.
And then few weeks later, the boss himself said: "I think We Should build the hut in that hill". The trick works! And Ajahn Brahm said: "Oh, what a very good idea of yours boss." This is also the Important Part of the trick. You shold tell a positive response about it. All he (the boss) knows that was his idea. You know That was your idea, but in dealing with Difficult people, you must let Them know that it's was Their idea. : D
So, that is the trick. When you have an idea and you know it's a good idea, just plant the idea in your head bosses. If They reject it, NEVER argue! Because if you do, They will remember the conversation. Just plant it, and reinforce it every couple of weeks. It'll work. You can apply this trick on other situation in dealing with difficult people.
For me personally, this is a trick that is very funny but interesting to try.
You can try it, hope it's useful for you. : D
Then he continued his story, this time about how his views on religious life. "The Best sound in the world"
One day there is someone from the village first came to town. On its way through the city the person hear a voice He never heard. Out of curiosity, he was scrambling around to find the source of the sound and found the source of the sound. It was a boy who are learning to play violin. But it was the most beautiful in the world for him.
The next day, when he walks around the city, he heard again a very beautiful sound, more beautiful than the previous one. He then seek source of the sound and find it. Apparently the sound is coming from a violin played by people who have mastered it. Very beautiful! Then he realized that the voices that were previously not as beautiful as he thought.
A few days later, he returned a walk in the city. Suddenly he heard a voice far more beautiful than the sounds he had ever heard before. Apparently the sound was coming from an orchestra that is being played in harmony by the people who are experts play their instruments respectively. And it is true that it is a very beautiful voice, the most beautiful voice in the world.
Then he tell us.
That's how we should view religious differences. First we must study our religion and master it well. Once we understand our religion then we can understanding the meaning of religious life, because all religions were basically very beautiful. Once we all understand our own religion and become an expert, then the religious life in the world will run it beautifully in harmony. Just like a musical instrument played with a very beautiful in an orchestra that produces the most beautiful voice in the world.
That's how he is unique in giving lectures. With funny stories and his own experience and thoughts that are actually quite simple but we often ignore.
My Experience to meet directly with him and the chance to shake hands and listen to lectures from a bestselling book directly from the author is very inspiring me and will be my unforgetable experience.
Finally, I highly recommend the books of Ajahn Brahm as reading material that you have to read. ;)
The writings and lectures he has become a valuable inspiration for me.
Hopefully with this article you also get a little inspiration and benefit of use to you.
"When the weather is hot, keep a cool mind. When the weather is cold, keep a warm heart."
— Ajahn Brahm
Thank You
einlanzer
1 respond:
great!!! :)
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